"Before" pictures (taken on Monday)

Please bear in mind that this is a big deal for me! Exposing myself publicly like this, showing all the bits I prefer to hide. Please be kind :)

Here I am. Feeling like a teapot - short and stout. At some point I will publish pictures from a few years ago because I used to be slim and lean.  Slim and lean is exactly what I would like to get back to. I hope my body remembers.

I started to gain weight after undergoing hormonal therapy (I had polycystic ovaries and precancerous cells). Within a week I could hardly fit into my old jeans so I bought these (one size bigger). Now even they don't fit!
When I sit at my desk I feel like a sausage. Always stuffed. I feel my thighs compressing.

I really refuse to keep buying bigger clothes.
And here are my bikini "before" shots. They really are self explanatory and I do feel embarrassed now!

Where did I get that extra skin from?!
I will be working hard on rejuvenating as well. No more skipping cleansing in the evening. No more running to school with my daughter without putting any moisturizer on. No more forgetting to drink water throughout the day. And the hardest of all, no more sleeping 4 hours a night! I am too old for this kind of lifestyle. This is the only time I will ever admit being too old for something!

With good make up and well chosen clothes I can disguise most of my faults. When I mentioned my blog idea to some of my friends and relatives, they all acted surprised. They think I should feel more settled with myself. That I should be putting my efforts into my work and be happy with how I look because it is only going to get worse. They might be right, however I am doing this for myself. Is this so bad? Is this all just a stupid superficial vanity driven fling, totally inappropriate for a woman of my age? Well, I always associate a lean body and glowing face with good health. So lets just say I am doing this purely for my health and not for the idea of an imaginary red carpet moment .
I hope to find more like-minded girls and ladies who are going through a similar journey. We can share ideas and dwell together upon our hardship.
Em
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